


The Things I Could Tell You.

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: Josh's best man speech. Series 31.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Josh looked across the room at the happy couple as he took hold of the microphone. Duffy looked nervous, Charlie less so, though Josh surmised that could be because his friend was still slightly drunk from the previous night's hijinks. He knew that he certainly was!

He cleared his throat and adjusted his tie awkwardly. For so many years he'd been waiting, hoping he'd get the chance to do this but now it was time he was suddenly nervous. He took a deep breath. 

"Well good evening everyone. For those of you who don't know I'm Josh. As best man it's my job to talk about the happy couple - Charles Fairhead and Lisa Duffin - Charlie and Duffy. In all the years I've known them when I think of one I instantly think of the other in the next thought. A bit like fish and chips or jelly and ice cream, great on their own but when combined - the perfect pairing."

He paused before a cheeky grin gradually formed on his face. "Right, now I've buttered them up with compliments, let's get to the juicy stuff shall we?" He remarked, eliciting a laugh from the guests.

Across the room Charlie could sense Duffy's building agitation at what Josh might reveal. He bent closer so that no-one else would hear as he whispered into her ear. "He knows you'll kill him if he says anything he shouldn't." He reassured her. 

Duffy wasn't convinced. She rolled her eyes at him. "Well if that's the case then it's going to be a pretty short speech!" She retorted.

Charlie frowned at her response then smirked at her as he squeezed her hand before returning his attention back to Josh. 

"Now where to start..? Having known the pair of them for close to twenty five years now there's plenty of stories I could tell you all..." He paused. "Note I said 'could' because despite them both being nurses it turns out they've got very deep pockets!" 

Josh laughed at the disappointed groans that filled the room. "OK, OK!" He held up his hands in surrender. 

"When Charlie told me that he and Duffy had gotten engaged the only thing that surprised me was how quickly it had happened, I mean, she'd only been back in the department a matter of months! I was thrilled though, 'About bloody time mate!' were my exact words!"

"I'd spent years listening as he chewed my ear off talking about her on nights out, no amount of whiskey could stop him sometimes. In fact, it often only made him worse! God knows I tried to get him to do something about it Duffy. Honestly." 

"It all made sense, however, when Charlie confessed that it had actually been Duffy that had popped the question. She's always been the unpredictable type. Charlie frankly never really stood a chance!" 

"So, like I said, it wasn't much a shock finding out they were together and planning to get married. Well, maybe it was to some of you lot, but not to me. Afterall, you don't know them as well as I do. To be honest, I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. There's such a thing as knowing two people a bit too well..!"

"So trust me when I tell you, those two getting thrown out of drinking establishments for drunken misbehaviour is not at all a new thing! In fact, I remember one time in the Plume of Feathers..."

Looking across the room Josh spotted Charlie and Duffy exchange a concerned look at the mention of that particular pub. 

"Somehow the conversation got onto tricks that involved balancing shot glasses." He paused, a contemplative look on his face. "I must admit I'm curious as to whether the person concerned can still perform that trick now." He smirked. 

Duffy's eyes went wide as Charlie whispered in her ear. "I'll have to get you try that again one night." He bit her earlobe. "Less clothes this time though, make it a bit trickier!" 

Josh paused for a few moments but when no answer was forthcoming from the couple in question he continued. "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, their drunken misbehaving!" 

"Now I could tell you about the 'red wine incident'..." He pondered. "I think it might be the reason madam only drinks white wine these days." He reasoned, watching as her cheeks flushed scarlet. 

"To this day I still don't know why we were drinking red wine but we were and it was quite late into the evening when Charlie and I walked back into the lounge to find a very drunk Duffy sat slumped next to a large red stain. Now you would've thought that after all his years of nursing Charlie would be able to tell the difference but he spent several minutes trying to work how she'd bled all over his brand new carpet but she was pretty incoherent by that point. It was only when he poked her abdomen and she puked all over his shirt that he finally realised what had happened!" He paused as everyone giggled at Charlie's mistake. "It took us a while to sober her up that night. But, I'm sure Charlie looked after you alright, eh Duffy?"

"I'm going to wrap this up shortly but before I do I'd like to take you all back to the first time I ever saw the two of them together. They were having a row, sorry, I mean 'professional disagreement'..." He corrected himself, shooting them both a pointed look. 

"For all that he was her boss, she always won the argument." He remarked, eliciting chuckles from around the room. "Anyway, they were stood in the doorway of his office... What they were arguing about wasn't obvious. But, Charlie's reaction was clear. She can really wind him up. But, he never stayed mad at her for long." He smirked.

"Over the years I learnt to read the signs. He'd be going off like a rocket at her then all of a sudden the door would slam... Most people realised they just needed ten minutes alone in that office and then they'd be all sweetness and light with each other again!"

"Ten minutes? Thanks Josh!" Charlie muttered, sulking.

Duffy gave him a sympathetic look in response but she quickly began laughing at his disgruntled expression. 

"I quickly learnt my lesson about interrupting, and they learnt their lesson about locking the door," He added pointedly. "after this one time when I walked in and..." 

"Josh!" Duffy squealed anxiously. 

Josh looked over and saw that Charlie was shaking his head and giving him the filthiest of looks. 

"Um, right yeah...ha...so..." He stumbled over his words. "Put it this way, he always had a cheeky grin on his face whenever they were on shift together. He definitely preferred her in uniform." 

"Trying to keep his eyes at the right level after a few whiskey's was a bit trickier however." He observed. "There was one dress in particular..." 

He laughed as he saw Charlie start to blush. "I see you remember the one I'm talking about!" 

"You know, I always thought it was black but I'm told it was actually dark navy. The dress that is. He'd know, afterall, he was always quite partial to her arse. Whatever colour it was wrapped in." Josh paused. "He certainly looked at it enough over the years!"

Everyone laughed as Duffy rolled her eyes at Charlie who was still blushing furiously.

"So as you can see, them being all sweetness and light is far from the truth. Which is why it was no surprise to me they got together, engaged and married so quickly, no surprise at all folks." He smiled and shrugged. "With nothing in their way any longer, they had no reason to hold back."

"And on that note, I have just one thing left to say before I go hide in the gents where Duffy can't get me! I'd like to propose a toast to the happy couple. I wish them love, happiness and that they never change because my life would be much duller if they did! To Charlie and Duffy!"

Everyone toasted their glasses. "To Charlie and Duffy!"

Josh placed the microphone down after finishing his drink. He walked across the room and as he placed his hand on the door to the toilets he heard a single word ring out above the general chatter that filled the room.

"Coward!"

Josh turned, laughed at his friends and disappeared through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Josh had barely reached the sinks when he heard the door swing open behind him. He hesitated briefly before turning around, somewhat relieved to see Charlie stood before him. Despite his joke about her not being able to get to him in the gents he wouldn't have entirely put it past Duffy to not care and storm in there anyway! He chuckled at the expression on his friend's face. 

"What the hell was all that about?! You promised me that you'd go easy!" Charlie complained. 

"I did. I could have said much worse!" Josh shrugged, still grinning. 

"Worse? Bloody hell Josh! In front of everyone!" 

"It wasn't explicit." Josh countered. 

"Explicit... You might as well have said we were shagging about for years." Charlie shot back. 

"Well you pretty much were, mate, it's not exactly a state secret." 

"To them it is! Bloody hell Josh!" Charlie began to pace, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. "You've made us sound so, so..." He threw up his hands in aspiration. 

"Hey at least I didn't tell them about the other time you two got thrown out of a Christmas party." Josh commented cryptically. 

Charlie glared at him. "We have to work with them Josh. They'll think the worst of us now." He sighed. "We were both married then Josh."

"They don't know that. It's not like I gave dates and times." Josh defended. 

Charlie sighed and glared at him again.

"Well, other than the '10 minutes' joke. Is that what you're mad about?" Josh joked, attempting to convince his friend that it wasn't as bad as he seemed to think. 

"They'll think we're just..."

"Oh lighten up Charlie! They'll probably view it in the same way as thinking about their parents having sex - that it's funny but 'let's not dwell on it for long coz ew'!" He replied, his voice mimicing the tone of some of the younger nurses. 

"Not funny." Charlie huffed. 

"All I did was tell a slightly edited version of the truth."

"Yeah, well, the truth is out now isn't it?!" Charlie rolled his eyes. 

Josh bit back a laugh wondering if Charlie realised how much he looked like Duffy when he did that. "I think you'll find its been out there for years that the two of you like to have make up sex on your office desk." He couldn't help but point out. 

"Josh!"

"You realise the walls aren't soundproof right?"

"Oh for God's sake." Charlie groused, folding his arms across his chest. 

"Ain't my fault she's noisy." Josh laughed. 

"That's my wife you're talking about!"

"You look like a kid on Christmas morning when you say that." Josh mocked good naturedly, silently contemplating how long Charlie had secretly been waiting to be able to say that. 

Charlie began to smirk at his remark. "Just keep out of her way, she won't be as lenient on you as I am."

"Oh I'm fully expecting her to smack me in the back of the head at some point today." Josh chuckled. 

"You deserve it!" Charlie laughed. 

"Why? Because I told everyone she threw up on your carpet?" He grinned wickedly. "That's one of the least compromising positions I've found her on the floor in!"

"Will you give it a rest?!" Charlie pleaded. 

"I don't recall you being quite so mad at the time." Josh remarked, greatly enjoying needling his friend. 

"Josh!" Charlie glared at him.

"And not once have the pair of you apologised for the mental scarring I've suffered over the years!" He remarked pointedly. 

"It's not our fault you keep disturbing us!" Charlie shrugged, entering into the bantering spirit finally. 

"Like I said earlier, you need to get better at remembering to lock doors properly." A thought struck him. "And also not have sex in MY ambulance!" 

Charlie rubbed his forehead and then held up his hands in defeat. "Alright, alright. It's not like we had any choice though. We had to hide it Josh."

"It made sense then, but why all the secrecy still? It makes no difference now."

Charlie sighed, his voice full of sadness. "It's all those lost years Josh. If things were different. Done differently. She'd have left Andrew after my divorce from Baz... And... Well... "

Josh immediately jumped on one point in particular. "She was planning to leave Andrew? I thought you'd told me everything but never once have you mentioned that!" He was dumbfounded. "What the hell happened? Why didn't she?"

"Yeah, well. I'm telling you now." He murmured. "I chose to stay in Holby. She was gonna leave Andrew. I ended up staying in Canada longer than planned. And then..." He swallowed nervously. "Then the pregnancy changed everything." 

Josh scrambled to try and fit the pieces together. "Pregnancy?" Realisation hit. "You mean Paul?"

"Yeah, I mean Paul. Then everything changed." Charlie confirmed. 

"Hang on, slow down. If she was planning to leave Andrew... Does that mean you two were..? Around the time she got pregnant?"

Charlie glared at Josh, about to deny his friend's implied accusation but then he sighed and nodded.

"Bloody hell mate!" 

"Yeah, well..." Charlie was at a loss to explain it all. 

"Well that wasn't what I was expecting when you stormed in here." Josh joked weakly, his eyebrow raised. 

"No, me neither." Charlie ran his hand around the back of his neck.

"I won't say anything. I promise." 

"It was a long time ago. But it's still pretty raw sometimes." Charlie whispered. 

"The past is what it is, you can't change that. You need to look to the future. You got the girl mate!" Josh slapped Charlie on the shoulder. "Took you 30 years but you got there in the end." He laughed. 

"Yeah, yeah you're right. Took us a while, but it was worth the wait."

Josh laughed once more at the look of absolute awe on Charlie's face as he spoke. Even after so many years it was clear just how truly smitten he was. "So what you doing in here moaning at me for then? Get back out there and dance with your bride. Wouldn't want her getting cross with you right before your wedding night afterall!"

"Good point!" Charlie walked towards the door. "You coming? I owe you a drink for breaking me out that prison cell!"

"In a bit..."

"She'll get you eventually, you know that right?"

"Not if I stay in here all evening." Josh countered.

"Coward!" Charlie laughed as he pushed open the door to rejoin the party.


End file.
